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Far better to spend your time with friends who will buoy you up as you figure out who you are in this new world.

Even if the do manage to emotionally prepare themselves to date again, finding suitable suitors can be more difficult than ever.

If my date cancelled or wasn’t available, I was plunged into despair.

I needed companionship NOW, which meant I needed it too much. I dated a couple guys who wanted me to change to meet their needs. But one year into my loss, I worried, “What’s wrong with me? ” If someone doesn’t recognize your wonderfulness, that’s their problem.

I started “beta-dating” a few months after my loss, thinking I’d start practicing.

But I was still too wounded and vulnerable, making me needy.

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