Rules for dating divorced dads
Thank you for all of your clear and concise thoughts over the last few years.I have definitely taken things to heart: look for boyfriend behavior; there is a natural timeline where commitment should come by month three, “I love you” around 6 months, living together at 18, engaged at 2-3 years; men do what they want, and so many other pearls.But let’s say you don’t have kids and you start dating a a divorced dad. Plans fall through, kids’ feelings might be all over the place, financial issues can crop up, or the divorced dad has to deal with his ex (who could be difficult.) There are all kinds of reasons, and even if you have the best relationship in the world, and you are madly in love and blissful 95% of the time, things with the divorced dad (or mom) can cause headaches, and even conflict.For most people, dating someone with kids is disappointing and frustrating at times. I applaud divorced dads (and moms) and the people who date them, because it really truly isn’t easy, and you have to be unselfish.We talk daily (if he has his son it’s usually by text, otherwise we chat by phone in the evenings), he makes it a point to see me once a week and we always have so much fun together.When we are together things are easy and fun, just as they should be!I have learned so much about what it means to be in a giving relationship in these four months, and he has been such a remarkable teacher of that. I think it’s always instructive for women to hear from other women that, despite all the frustrations you’ve had with dating and relationships prior to today, you don’t believe that “men” are the problem, and that, in fact, in this one instance, your boyfriend’s ex-wife was the weak link.But, I want more at this point, and I don’t know if it’s a simple case of needing to be more patient to let things grow organically…if I just need to see things as they are and say that my needs aren’t being met and re-evaluate. This is far more common than we see here — specifically because most of the questions I post are from women complaining about men.
She has struggled with addiction, thus making co-parenting a bit of a struggle at times. He’s truly wonderful; he’s kind, thoughtful, treats me with so much respect.I have been dating a wonderful man for about four months now.We’ve known each other almost 20 years prior to dating, and the transition to an amorous relationship was easy and natural.First of all, I want more time with him (more than once a week); I understand that he wants to be very cautious about bringing people into his son’s life, and that means there’s less time for he and I to spend together.However, I want a serious relationship that is continuously growing.