As a Psychologist, I find it easy to look beyond the behaviour to the underlying reasons. Having said that, understanding the reasons doesn’t automatically make me like someone! When we come across an angry and unhappy person, many of us take this behaviour personally. I remember when I worked at Broadmoor Hospital, we would have supervision to help us cope with the various personalities we had to deal with.
The person who had come to talk to us explained that the aggressive and intimidating behaviour that we received most days from those held in Broadmoor was more about them than it was about us.
Remember – you can choose what to think about any situation.
You can choose to believe that someone is scary, or better than you or unmanageable and feel the accompanying negative emotions (working for you??
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Have you ever been around your parents or an adult that knew you as a child and suddenly realised that you have changed your behaviour? Acting sheepish and childlike amongst adults from our childhood is quite common. They are used to others being intimidated and accepting their behaviour.Look at the other person as someone to figure out and understand rather than someone to challenge. This is a generalisation but I have come across many clients who seem intensely gruff on the outside but once you get to know them, you realise it’s all a ‘front’.Ask questions such as “and how is that going to work? They have, more often than not, adapted this behaviour to cover up their own insecurities.She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011.There are 17 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.