Dating limits

Clearly knowing your values, principles and preferences is critical to be able to draw the lines you feel comfortable.

What’s the point in setting, maintaining and enforcing healthy limits and boundaries?

William Golding’s book (1954) and Peter Brook’s subsequent 1963 movie provide a scintillating, chilly portrait of what results in a society without rules, laws and authority.

This story depicts a band of young boys in their struggle to eke out their survival when stranded on an island.

Some just declare limits to be saying, “No” and meaning it.

Disciplines of every imaginable kind help provide structured limits that enhance the control we have over our behavior.

Accomplishing these goals through clear, credible reasoning coupled with assertive, limit-setting behaviors is crucial for a productive, psychologically healthy life.

Limits can be defined by the following six qualities: A boundary in relationship encounters is communicating no verbally or in your behavior, and meaning it!

When you and I say, “No”, we set a one-word boundary. You and I draw a proverbial line in the sand communicating, “Don’t trespass beyond this point.” If the other person breaks this ground rule you asserted, then you advise him or her of the consequence you will follow through with if they persist in such boundary violations.

The boys in Golding’s island speak up for their preference for adult authority and moral standards of right and wrong, even as they witness the escalating madness that demolishes their world.

Without boundaries our social relationships and society as a whole would degenerate into license, chaos, anarchy and permissiveness.

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