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He told her he liked her glasses and asked for her number, and then they parted ways.The next day, he texted the 26-year-old, “How’s it going?“I think you should give my brother a chance,” he said. At midnight they left, except for Will, who stayed back with a half-full glass of whiskey.

I’d hoped I would learn the answer eventually, but not like this.

But when he got to work in his blue “date jacket,” I knew he wasn’t getting the message. ” I said, “I always go out with guys just like me — programmers.” “ date a programmer.” Was this a subtle rejection? I was so afraid of making you uncomfortable.” “What changed your mind? “When I realized I knew I’d rather quit than not tell you how I felt.” The next night, I stayed at Will’s apartment. Then I’d slip out of the office 10 minutes early to wait for him in the candle-lit lobby of the Ace Hotel.

Then on one rainy evening after work, I caught Will alone walking to the subway. As we neared the entrance to the subway stop, he turned to face me and took a breath. “I’m going to say this once, and I promise I won’t bug you about it ever again.” He paused. On the way to his bathroom in the morning, I met the programmer brother I’d messaged months ago.

According to Ok Cupid, I was highly compatible with them, but I was hung up on Will.

Psychologists are skeptical that the qualities we filter for on dating sites — shared interests, personality types — have anything to do with relationship success. I knew exactly which of my co-workers were single, because I’d match with them on Ok Cupid.

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